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John Mulaney Nails Why The Holidays Are So Relevant In The News In 2019

John Mulaney Nails Why The Holidays Are So Relevant In The News In 2019

John Mulaney onstage at the American Museum of Natural History’s 2019 Museum Galaon November 21, … [+] 2019 in New York City.

Sylvain Gaboury/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

Comedian John Mulaney has that knack of pinning down everyday situations in the most clever new light. After all, what New Yorker doesn’t hear the subway voices as an angry couple ever since his Saturday Night Live monologue in March. 

And on last night’s episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Mulaney took his trademark insight to nail the holidays in a way that’s just a little too relevant for 2019. 

While playing Wheel of Opinion with Fallon, the “Opinion Topic Generator” landed on various seasonal topics, which the 37-year-old comedian turned into newsworthy headlines based on his “knee jerk” reaction.

John Mulaney walks the red carpet during the Philly Fights Cancer: Round 5 Event on October 26, 2019 … [+] in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Lisa Lake/Getty Images for Philly Fights Cancer

The State of Rudolph’s Mental Health

First up on the board was “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Mulaney instinctively took a deep dive into the meaning behind the lyrics so often flippantly sang “with glee” (yippee!) — wondering about the bullying that the poor reindeer suffered on that infamous foggy night.

First off, you don’t just erase the abuse,” he stated, pointing out the obvious that’s so often ignored. “And secondly, you’ll go down in history, that’s a claim — fame and love, I hate to say it, but fame is not love. They’re very different things. I’ve done a lot of work to get to that conclusion.”

And in the light of the current state of mental health awareness advocacy today — including by such notable figures as Princes William and Harry and their wives Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle through Heads Together — Mulaney so truthfully states: “I hope Rudolph sees a therapist,” while declaring, “This is what pisses me off about that.”


John Mulaney (R) and his wife Annamarie Tendler.

MARK RALSTON/AFP via Getty Images

The Need to #MeToo Mistletoe

Next up on the board was “Mistletoe.” Without skipping a beat, the New York-based funnyman commented, “If any decoration ne to be #MeToo-ed… this is the most awful [one]!”

Indeed, in this day and age of the Me Too movement, which started in 2006, but truly came to light in 2017, the age-old tradition of kissing under the mistletoe — likely started by the Celtic Druids in the first century A.D — can potentially lead to more dicey territory than romance. “Walking through the doorway with another person [is] weird enough. I don’t need this perverted garnish over the door,” he mused, before raising his voice to comment: “I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to hear about it.”

“It’s an upsetting garnish,” Mulaney declared.


Mulaney onstage at the 2019 Clusterfest in San Francisco, California.

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for Clusterfest

The Fight for Respect

Mulaney, who was promoting his upcoming Netflix special, John Mualney and the Sack Lunch Bunch debuting on Christmas Eve on December 24, also wrapped up the decade seamlessly with the final prompt: “The 2010s.”

“Oh, they’re ending. Well, what a decade,” he started before launching into an anecdotal answer. “Here’s how I’d sum up the 2010s: I was going through the airport and there’s a guy and he was traveling and there’s a woman from TSA. And they’re screaming at each other and she said, ‘I wouldn’t disrespect you, if you hadn’t disrespected me in the first place.’’’

Capturing the state of affairs in politics, diversity, pop culture and beyond in a single situation, he concluded: “And that is the 2010s. We’re trying to find out who disrespected who in the first place and we’re both screaming at each other and everyone’s just trying to get on their Southwest flight.”

The former Saturday Night Live writer, who also waxed poetic on fingerless gloves being a poor choice for crooks noted: “I love my own thoughts.”

As do we, John. As do we.